CROSS PLAINS — As summer drew to a close, more than 70 married couples gathered for a special milestone Anniversary Mass celebrated by Bishop Donald J. Hying of Madison. 

The hosting church, St. Francis Xavier in Cross Plains, was filled with a joyful atmosphere and close to 350 people, as children, relatives, and friends of the married couples joined them for the celebration. 

In his homily, Bishop Hying reflected on Jesus’ command in Luke chapter 13 to enter through the narrow gate and compared the qualities of being a disciple to the qualities necessary in marriage. 

“Is not the narrow gate the realization that we are called to love as Jesus loved? That means dying to self. It means not having ourselves and our interests and our needs at the center, but rather giving ourselves away day after day, year after year. Loving God and loving one another. Pouring ourselves out. Making a gift of our life. Living an existence of sacrifice and of service. Is that not the narrow gate? Is that not the way that all of you have lived for all of these years of marriage?”

At the reception following the Mass, couples affirmed the bishop’s sentiments as they shared stories of the blessings and challenges in their own marriages.

Reliving a special day

Next month, Jeanne and Gary Rusch, who live in DeForest and are part of Nativity of the Lord Pastorate, will celebrate their 50th anniversary. 

The day before the diocesan Anniversary Mass, the couple received an unexpected delivery from an area florist. 

Jeanne and Gary’s children, who knew their parents were attending the anniversary event, sent a bouquet and a boutonniere. 

The flowers weren’t just thoughtful, though, they were truly special. “This is a replica of my wedding bouquet,” shared Jeanne. “Isn’t that wild?”

Even more interesting than having a replica of their wedding flowers at the Anniversary Mass was the fact that accompanying Jeanne and Gary at the event were the maid of honor and best man from their wedding. 

Kathleen and Greg Rusch drove from Antigo, Wis., to be with Jeanne and Gary for the celebration. Kathleen even wore her original maid-of-honor dress.

Reflecting on what makes a strong marriage, Gary said, “You communicate because you don’t know what each other’s thinking unless you communicate, and you compromise because no one’s always right.” 

Jeanne stated that keeping God in your marriage is important, saying, “He’s what kept us together all these years . . . you can’t do it alone, and you have to have faith.”

Sharing years and wisdom

The longest-married couple at the event was Richard and Dorothy Trameri, who married in 1953 at St. Raphael Cathedral in Madison. 

Now members of Our Lady Queen of Peace Parish in Madison, Richard and Dorothy were joined at the event by family and shared fond memories of their many years in Madison. 

Richard reminisced about attending St. Joseph School in Madison, where he was an altar boy and enjoyed being taught by the Sisters. 

When asked what tips they would offer young couples, Dorothy said, “Be patient.” 

Richard’s advice was, “to be honest with one another.” The couple also said that they pray together. 

Jerry and Connie McCabe, members of St. Dominic Pastorate, have been married 63 years and traveled from Platteville to attend the Anniversary Mass. 

The couple said that they keep God in their lives and marriage by going to church a lot and praying together. 

Jerry’s advice to newlyweds is to “make sure that you keep God in your life . . . otherwise you’ll have problems, big problems.” Connie said it was important to “smile and laugh a lot.” 

They also encouraged couples to dance. 

“We love dancing. That’s how we met, and we are still dancing,” said Jerry.

Arturo Cortes and Columba Genis, who live in Jefferson and are members of St. Teresa of Calcutta Pastorate, were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. 

When asked what advice they would share with others, Columba said patience was vital but that “communication is the most important.” 

Arturo and Columba both emphasized the critical role parents play in sharing the faith with their children and said a big part of that was providing a good example for the children to follow. “We come to church and we pray,” shared Columba.

From mentor couple to friends

Sara and Andrew Bachman, of St. Jane Frances de Chantal Parish in Janesville, attended the event to celebrate their one-year anniversary. 

Joining Sara and Andrew at the Anniversary Mass were Don and Kris Bomkamp, who had served as the Bachmans’ mentor couple during the Witness to Love marriage preparation program. 

Witness to Love is the Diocese of Madison’s primary marriage preparation program. It involves a Catholic married couple serving as mentors for an engaged couple. 

The two couples meet regularly and develop a relationship during the engagement, with the mentor couple providing spiritual and relational guidance and support. 

Ideally, as in the case of the Bachmans and Bomkamps, the bond that is built before the wedding leads to a lasting friendship. 

Engaged couples can learn more about the Witness to Love program at madisondiocese.org/mp

Don and Kris said they knew that Andrew and Sara were made for each other and even admitted that the young couple didn’t need much advice. 

Don said that he told them to “be good to each other . . . there will be some tough days.” 

Kris advised the couple to “be patient, learn . . . turn to God when you need Him.”

The Anniversary Mass is organized each year by the Diocese of Madison’s Office of Marriage and Family. 

Volunteers from Worldwide Marriage Encounter served as greeters, checked couples in, and hosted the reception after the event. 

There are several Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experiences this fall in our area. 

Couples can learn more and register by visiting alifetimeoflove.org or by calling 888-574-5653.